


Housemania

by Frog100



Category: object shows
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29135799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frog100/pseuds/Frog100
Summary: It's just an object show lol
Comments: 9
Kudos: 4





	1. Episode 1a: Killing is not allowed

*the episode starts out on the kitchen table of a giant house*

Envelope: Hey guys look at this *tries to ride a skateboard up the ramp but misses and falls off the table*

Mouse: welp *pulls Mailbox’s flag*

*Envelope magically falls out of Mailbox’s door*

Envelope: Yes! *runs off screen to do something else stupid*

Mailbox: Wh-what was that?

Mouse: My latest invention, I’ve turned you into the newest recovery center.

Mailbox: Why tho

*sound of someone screaming offscreen*

*Mailbox’s door opens and Sock comes out*

Sock: Woah, we can revive now?

Mouse: Thanks to Mailbox, none of us can die anymore

*screen pans over to Moony*

Moony: Unlike Teabag

Sock: Oh right

*an emo filter goes over the screen and emo music plays as everyone remembers Teabag*

Mouse: Wait I could just revive him too *pulls Mailbox’s flag again*

*Teabag comes out of Mailbox’s door*

Teabag: yo

Mouse, Sock and Teabag: *stock cheering noises*

*scene switches to Medal and Bamboo racing each other. Medal crosses the finish line and wins*

Mattress: Wow Medal you’re so good at everything!

Hatty: No one can beat you! 

Medal: Haha, thanks *does this stupid smug face*

Bamboo: You may have won Medal, but not even winning is more valuable than my besties! *points to Mattress, Hatty, Lipstick, Bow (accessory), and Bow (weapon) *

Mattress, Hatty, Lipstick and Bow (accessory): Yay!

Bow (weapon): I’m not being besties with a girl,

Bamboo: C’mon, everyone is my bestie, especially you, Bow!

Bow (accessory): Me?

Lipstick: She was talking to Bow

Bow (accessory): *angrily* I’m Bow!

Lipstick: *snickers*

Bow (accessory) and Bow (weapon): *looks at each other and growls*

Sushi: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Both Bows: *growls at Sushi*

Sushi: uwu *runs away*

*scene changes to Spooly and Fridgey playing patty cake*

Spooly and Fridgey: In-sert patty-cake lyr-ics here!

Mushroom: *walks in with Tapey* Hey

Spooly: Cheerio darling!

Mushroom: Spooly since when are you british

Tapey: You’re not going through another phase again are you

Spooly: Whatever do you mean? I was always like this!

Fridgey: (happily) She got tired of being the Australian stereotype!

Spooly: *slaps Fridgey*

Wishbone: *runs in* You’ll never get me alive-oof! *bumps into Tapey*

Shovel: *runs in and grabs Wishbone* haha!

Wishbone: Let me go!

Mushroom: Shovel what is the meaning of this

Shovel: Oh hey Mushroom, just the object I was looking for. This morning I just remembered how we had a fight 3 years ago about whether superstitions give you bad luck or not (whispering: which they do) so we’re gonna split Wishbone here in half and see who’s right!

Wishbone: What!

Mushroom: Shovel for the last time-

Shovel: *uses tape from Tapey to stick Mushroom’s hands to Wishbone*

Mushroom: *tries to get the tape off, unknowingly pulling on Wishbone in the process*

Shovel: *pulls the over side of Wishbone*

Wishbone: *splits in half and fucking dies*

*scene cuts to Mailbox watching TV*

Mailbox: *makes a ding sound as a revived Wishbone falls out of him*

Mailbox and Wishbone: *both screaming*

*scene zooms in on the TV, where Morning Show with Sunny is playing*

*generic music plays*

Domino: Hello and welcome to Morning Show with Sunny. I’m your co host, Domino, and this is your host, Sunny.

Sunny: I will murder you for taking my line but I’m too positive for that!

Domino: (announcer voice) which is why I get away with it every episode!

Sunny: This morning’s guest star is our local wannabe soldier Rookie.

Rookie: *coughs offscreen*

Sunny: our local soldier Rookie, as he shows us how to stay fit.

*screen cuts to Rookie*

Rookie: You wanna not fucking die? You wanna not piss yourself as you fall out of Mailbox? Well this is how. First, make sure to have the healthy breakfast of raw metal *pulls Traffic Lighty off the side of the screen*

Traffic Lighty (Red): Hoo  
Traffic Lighty (Yellow): Ray  
Traffic Lighty (Green): *stock cheering noises*

*screen cuts back to Domino and Sunny before Rookie eats Traffic Lighty*

Domino: Looks like we ran out of time!

Sunny: our next guest is a rising musical group. Take it away for Banjo, Headphones, and CD!

Headphones and CD: *start beatboxing*

Banjo: *gets out a tiny banjo* (country ballad tune) A, B, C, D, E, F, G-

Headphones and CD: *proceed to kill Banjo and take a bow as the crowd cheers*

CD: and that is our newest song from our newest album, “music that makes you want to kill the nearest person”

Headphones: Make sure to buy in stores on November 13th!

*scene zooms out to reveal Folder and Packing Peanut watching it on TV*

Folder: Modern music sucks

Packing Peanut: That’s not the point *turns off the TV*. There’s too much object killing nowadays, which is why I gathered you all over here in this seminar, to stop it.

*screen pans over to show Packing Peanut was talking to Folder, Camera, Siren, Protractor, Umbrella and Soapy* 

Protractor: I agree, if the killing stops, I wouldn’t be so scared anymore

Soapy: I agree with Protractor

Umbrella: And objects will stop mistreating each other!

Soapy: I agree with Umbrella

Siren: I don’t know, something seems a bit sus about Packing Peanut *takes a paper reading “sus” out of Folder, holds it next to Packing Peanut and puts it sloppily back in Folder*

Soapy: I agree with Siren

Camera: I got it! Packing Peanut’s trying to stop the killing so it’s easier for him to take over the world! Or something.

Soapy: I agree with Camera

Siren: Packing Peanut’s gonna kill us all!

Protractor: We’re all gonna die! *runs away screaming*

*Protractor runs into Paintbrush*

Paintbrush: *kills Protractor* Hell yeah my 34th kill in a row!

Packing Peanut: *facepalms*

*scene changes to Spoony and Forky, and Mirror*

Spoony: I like, love you so much Forky!

Forky: Me too Spoony!

Mirror: But you know who’s even more lovable?

Spoony and Forky: Who!?

Mirror: *points to self*

Spoony and Forky: *looks at mirror and sees themselves* Omg it’s us!

Mirror: What! No!

Water Bottle: Mirror, I think you’re beautiful.

Mirror: Really?

Water Bottle: No! *laughs and turns to Candle* I’m funny right?

Candle: No

Water Bottle: *laughs*

Cuppy: *runs in* That was great!

Water Bottle and Cuppy: *laugh together*

Candle: I hate all of you

*Tissue Box walks past them, cleaning the table*

Tissue Box: I swear objects are so dirty nowadays *bumps into Megaphone*

Megaphone: *screams so loud it kills Tissue Box* sorry, can’t control myself sometimes

Envelope: Hey Megaphone, don’t you ever feel bored sometimes

Megaphone: You’re bored all the time 

Button and Cactus: I’ve been bored today too

Cactus: Jinx!

Megaphone: No jinxing! *accidentally yells Button off the table*

Envelope: *goes over to Wrench* Wrench, you can fix anything, is there any way you can fix our boredom?

Wrench: I reckon I could…….. I know! *pulls out a radio* How about listening to “music that makes you want to kill the nearest person”?

Envelope: No!

Megaphone: *grabs the radio and puts it on Puddle, breaking it*

Puddle: Hey! 

Envelope: *turns to Puddle, Key, Flaggy, and Golf Club* you know how to make me less bored?

Golf Club: Hm, what about a competition? 

Key: That sounds nice

Wrench: I’m always up for a good competition! 

Puddle: But who will be the host?

Flaggy: *gets out a phone* I can just order one online, you can order anything online, right? *starts tapping at the phone*

Envelope: Did you get it?

Flaggy: It says it’s delivered

Golf Club: C’mon let’s go look for it *runs away*

*Golf Club runs past Cardy, Peachy, Marble, Feather, and Shirty, and the camera focuses on them*

Peachy: Do you guys ever wonder things 

Feather: Like what?

Peachy: Like why does Locky look so nervous all the time and barely talks *points to Locky* and why Ringy is just eternally staring blankly

Cardy: It’s better not to ask, asking leads to trouble, I would know.

Marble: Let’s ask! *walks over to Locky* Hey Locky, why do you barely talk?

Locky: I can 

Shirty: Locky can only say 5 words a day, so he must have to choose wisely.

Feather: Ohhhhh

Peachy: Interesting

Marble: sdkwfijhrgeuofdojefrgueid 

Feather: ???

Marble: And what about Ringy?

*the camera zooms in on Ringy as the music gets more menacing, then it zooms out to reveal Cardy, Peachy, Feather, Marble, Shirty, and Locky dead*

*they all proceed to revive and fall out of Mailbox*

Feather: I’m never asking questions again

Offscreen Voice: why not ask questions

Feather: huh? *flies over to see what's going on*

Flashlight: Ask hundreds of questions! At Flashlight’s Magic Show!

Feather: Magic Show? *sits down with the rest of the audience* 

Crowny: Woohoo yay!

Kitey: I only came here because I was bored.

Sandpaper: I bet all my money that he ends up accidentally dying during this

Telly: We have money?!

Pizza: No we just pick dirt off the floor and pretend it’s money

Flashlight: SHUT UP! Now for my first trick, I have my assistant Chocolate Bar here

Chocolate Bar: *comes on the stage* You know it’s really romantic that you call me your assistant, I never heard of a magician romance before but-

Flashlight: I SAID SHUT UP! Now for my first trick, I’ll unwrap this mysterious box that came in the house! *unwraps it* What’s this? Another box saying do not touch? Well I just touch-

Golf Club: *runs in* wait-!

Flashlight: *touches it*

*a bright light shines over the box, and it transforms into a monkey*

Monke: Which one of you little shits summoned me

*episode ends*


	2. Housemania 1b: The Cereal Box of a Lifetime

*Monke has just been summoned. Everyone gathers around in surprise*

Monke: Which one of you little shits summoned me

Envelope: Woah, are you our host?

Domino: No stupid I’m your host

Monke: Actually some bitch named “Flaggy” sent me an email on hosting a show for all of you, so that’s what I’m gonna do

Domino:

Monke: *pushes Domino offscreen* I’m gathering all *counts* 64 of you in my little game. If you win you get uhhh to be the mascot on a cereal box! *lifts up a cereal box*

*everyone stands there unimpressed as shit*

Monke: uhhh also a free bag of doritos

*everyone still stands there*

Monke: a playstation 5? 

*everyone still stands there*

Megaphone: Fuck you

Monke: I know! I’ll give you all the previous combined, plus, *snaps and a giant fancy doll mansion drops from the ground* this!

*cricket noises*

Monke: the mansion has a pool

Everyone except Siren: *stock cheering noises*

Siren: You’re saying you seriously believe this guy

Camera: I predict that Monke is a magical fairy sent from above

Siren: Not you too Camera!

Monke: Now to start off, form 8 teams of 8! Let the teaming begin!

*everyone starts teaming*

Mattress: Medal, let’s like join together 

Medal: Sure lol  
Mushroom: Hey Medal, care if I join?

Medal: Sure ok

Water Bottle: Hey wouldn’t it be golden if I join you

Medal: Sure thing *insert bad pun here*

Soapy: I agree with Water Bottle *joins Medal’s team*

Wishbone: Why are you guys all joining Medal?

Mushroom: Isn’t it obvious

Mattress: We’ve got like, a sure chance of coming 1st every round

Wishbone: Oh ok *touches medal* FIRST TWO PEOPLE TO TOUCH MEDAL WINS EVERY ROUND

*a crowd rushes over to try and touch medal*

Mattress: *lifts Medal above the crowd, revealing Locky and Paintbrush holding on* looks like we got our full team!

Key: *to Crowny and Golf Club* since Medal is taken, wanna form a team?

Crowny and Golf Club: *stock cheering noises*

Bamboo: *runs over to Bow (accessory)* Hey bestie! Wanna be a team.

Bow (accessory): Omg sure

Forky: We have to be together Spoony!

Spoony: Same Forky!

Cactus: *picks up Shovel, Tissue Box, and Umbrella* you three seem idealistic like me, let’s form a team. 

Banjo: *to Headphones and CD* Should we team together?

CD: No, I feel like we should branch out and find other potential band members

Banjo: *sighs* *goes to Cactus’s team* can I join?

Cactus: hmm... a token musician... I like that, you’re in

CD: Well, I guess it’s just you and me now, Folder

Folder: efrghtefgrthrefjgrehuifd Christmas dwjifeuyrgiwdfvrhtu

Pizza: Everyone who joins my team gets free pieces of me to eat!

*Bow (weapon), Headphones, Fridgey, and Envelope run to Pizza*

Pizza: Lol sike no

Bow (weapon): Well since we’re all here, and we’re all boys, how about we make a boys team!

*everyone agrees with Bow*

Pizza: *goes to Ringy* Ringy, you’re the closest boy to us, wanna join.

*screen starts to zooms in on Ringy as ominous music plays*

Pizza: That means yes.

Kitey: c’mon Moony let’s form together

Moony: There are already 7 groups here

Kitey: We could join them, I guess *points to Forky and Spoony*

*Kitey and Moony join Spoony and Forky*

Mouse: *looking around for teammates and finds Chocolate Bar*

Chocolate Bar: *looking at Bow (weapon)’s team with hearts over her* so cute,

Mouse: (to self) Chocolate Bar’s strong when she’s not fawning over boys, (yelling) Hey Chocolate Bar, how about you take a break from crushing on others and join me in an all girls team?

Chocolate Bar: Hmm, I guess I should try to put romance aside for this I’m in! *joins Mouse*

Flaggy: *comes over* I’d love to help Chocolate Bar in an all girls team! *joins them*

Hatty: *comes over* Well since Mattress is taken I could join you girls. *joins them also*

Mouse: Great!

Chocolate Bar: But how do we get more members?

Mouse: Behold, *pulls out a magnet* the girl magnet

*Mouse holds up the magnet pulling Button, Shirty, Sandpaper and Candle to it*

Button, Shirty, Sandpaper and Candle: *complaining noises*

Mouse: Shut up you’re on our team now

Bow (weapon): Hey, the girls team has 8 members already!

Ringy: *makes demonic noises as he summons a Boy Magnet*

Bow (weapon): *holds up the boy magnet pulling Mailbox towards them* 

Envelope: Oh it’s just Mailbox

Mailbox: What’s wrong?

Bow (weapon): We still need 1 member

Mailbox: Easy we just have to wait for someone to die

*Packing Peanut falls out of Mailbox*

Packing Peanut: (crying) Why must objects kill each other

Bow (weapon): Sweet 8 members

*scene pans over to Marble and Mirror*

Marble: There’s only 5 teams left to form 

Mirror: I need a team that appreciates how beautiful I am

Sunny: *flies on screen* Mirror I think you’re wonderful! More than beautiful! And Marble, you’re so smart!

Marble: Aw thanks Sunny let's join together

Sunny: Yay!

*Mirror, Sunny, and Marble join together*

Bamboo: *walks over to Rookie* Hey bestie! Wanna join my team?

Rookie: I’m already on a team. Of one. But whoever joins gets extra protection from me!

Bamboo and Bow: Sweet *joins Rookie*

Camera: *walks up to Cuppy* according to my research you are secretly a wereobject, join me to learn more about yourself

Cuppy: Ok lol. Who else should we ask?

Camera: Let’s look at the options, *looks at Tapey, Megaphone, and Traffic Lighty* Megaphone is a secret merobject, so that will be helpful in swimming challenges. Traffic Lighty secretly has 1 brain and 3 faces, and Tapey is secretly a roll of tape. Who should we pick, Cuppy. Cuppy?

Cuppy: Hey wanna join us!?

Tapey: eh fine

Megaphone: Camera is annoying but if I could use Tapey to shut him up I’m in

Traffic Lighty: (red face) Lets. (yellow face) Jo. (green face) In.

Cuppy: *to Camera* I decided all of them, lol.

Camera: *runs away screaming but then hits a wall and falls down*

*scene focuses on Cactus’s team*

Cactus: We still have 3 members left 

Banjo: Let’s see if there’s any 3 member groups we can merge

*cactus notices Mirror, Marble, and Sunny in the distance*

Sunny: Let’s sing the team song because we’re a team!

Marble: Why

Cactus: Token idiots, I like it *pushes Mirror, Marble and Sunny to her team* 8 members let’s go!

*Bow (accessory), Bamboo and Rookie walk up to Feather and Protractor*

Bamboo: Hey besties!

Rookie: Want me- I mean us to protect you?

Protractor: I like not dying, so I’ll join

Feather: I’ll join too

Bamboo: We need 3 members left, now what.

Rookie: We need someone strong to help protect us 

*Rookie runs up to Wrench* 

Wrench: *screams*

Rookie: You are durable, want to be a protector?

Wrench: I could unclog a sink

Rookie: Close enough, you’re in

Flashlight: *runs in* Sorry to interrupt, but can I join? *opens a spellbook* I have protection spells for days!

Bamboo: Sure bestie!

Teabag: *walks in on scene* Yo I’d like not to be dead for 3 years again I’m putting myself in 

Bamboo: Yay! A full team of besties!

*cuts to Folder and CD*

Folder: We’re behind on members

CD: I know! Let’s scream so loudly that people will come over and ask to stop! And then we ask for them to be on our team yo!

CD and Folder: *loud screaming*

Key: *runs over* Hey could you stop

Cardy: It hurts my nonexistent ears

Golf Club: *runs over and grabs Folder and CD* (menacing voice) stop

CD: Want to join-

Key, Golf Club, and Cardy: No

Folder: *takes out a sticker sheet from inside of her* you get free stickers!

Key, Golf Club, and Cardy: *stock cheering noises*

*scene to Puddle*

Puddle: *comes over to Spoony, Forky, Moony and Kitey’s team* Hey the remaining teams freak me out, can I join you?

Lipstick: *walks in* Yeah those teams are cringe.

Peachy: *walks in* True tho

Kitey: Ok

*Puddle, Lipstick and Peachy join the team*

*cuts to CD and Folder’s team*

Golf Club: *punches floor* We need more members, fast! I refuse to be the last team finished!

Megaphone: *walks over with her team* Well I refuse to be the last team finished!

*Golf Club and Megaphone growl at each other*

Sushi: *runs over* Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Domino: *walks by* And if you look to your right you see a Golf Club and a-

Megaphone and Golf Club: Members!

Megaphone and Golf Club: *to thier teams* Quick! convince them to join!

Camera: Eh I don’t want a secret dragon and a secret kraken on our team the other ones can have it.

*the team agrees with Camera*

Megaphone: W-

Sushi and Domino: Yay! *joins Golf Club’s team*

Sock: *comes over to Megaphone’s team* Hey I feel bad for you so can I join?

Telly: *joins Megaphone’s team too* yeah I like this team

Spooly: (insert something British) *joins Megaphone’s team*

Megaphone: 8 members heck yeah!

CD: Okay team, there’s only Crowny and Siren left. Who should we-

CD’s team: Crowny

CD: Oh ok

Crowny: Thanks for not picking me last

Peachy: (to her team) Wait but that means-

*Peachy’s team grabs Siren*

Siren: Hey let me go-!

Peachy: You’re one of us now! Don’t fight it!

Monke: Good now we have our 8 teams, now time to name them. You have one minute.

Mattress: Since we have Medal on our team we’re like, the best team ever!

*The Best Team Ever is named, consisting of Water Bottle, Medal, Mushroom, Soapy, Wishbone, Mattress, Locky, and Paintbrush*

Rookie: Our team name has to reflect our desire to win!

Bow (accessory): To win we need to be successful, helpful, imaginative, and a team

*Successful Helpful Imaginative Team is named, consisting of Bow (accessory), Flashlight, Bamboo, Rookie, Wrench, Protractor, Feather, and Teabag*

Teabag: Sounds like shit

Bow (accessory): Oh shut up

Cuppy: Our team name could be-

Camera: named only after the most vile, cruel, strong, things on earth, the humans!

*The Humans is named, consisting of Spooly, Camera, Megaphone, Cuppy, Traffic Lighty, Telly, Tapey, and Sock*

CD: Foldy, you helped me so much today, how about you name our team?

Foldy: *the wrinkled “sus” paper from earlier falls out of Foldy* Sus

*Sus is named, consisting of Crowny, Key, Golf Club, Cardy, Sushi, Domino, Folder, and CD*

Bow (weapon): Let’s name our team Sexists!

Packing Peanut: Isn’t that too problematic? Let’s censor it at least.

Pizza: *censors the S* So we’re Exists?

*Exists is named, consisting of Pizza, Headphones, Fridgey, Bow (weapon), Packing Peanut, Mailbox, Ringy and Envelope*

Chocolate Bar: I know the perfect name for our team!

Shirty: Then say it

Chocolate Bar: Uhhhhhhhhh….

*Uhhhhhhhhh is named, consisting of Button, Flaggy, Hatty, Shirty, Mouse, Sandpaper, Candle, and Chocolate Bar*

Shirty: Couldn’t you have thought it through a little sooner?

Chocolate Bar: (happily) What do you mean? That was the name I was thinking of

Monke: *walks up to Peachy’s team, who’s still holding down Siren* and what’s your team?

Siren: Team? THERE IS NO TEAM.

*THERE IS NO TEAM is named, consisting of Puddle, Peachy, Moony, Spoony, Lipstick, Kitey, Siren, and Forky*

Siren: *stands there shocked*

Monke: You’re officially in this competition now lol

*Monke goes over to the last team*

Monke: You have 5 seconds left, what’s your name

Mirror, Umbrella, Sunny, Tissue Box, Marble, Cactus, Banjo and Shovel: (arguing)

Monke: Welp if that’s how you’re gonna put it

*Arhuyeiokjdehgryuwijdhfugyehjmkswieuhfncmxskdjfghtrueiw is named, consisting of Mirror, Umbrella, Sunny, Tissue Box, Marble, Cactus, Banjo and Shovel*

Shovel: How do you even pronounce that.

Marble: Like this *demonic screeching*

Monke: Now that all the teams are complete, it’s time for the first challenge. Well you see, this show is based off Battle for Battle for Dream Island, which is part of the Battle for Dream Island series, which is based off Total Drama, which is based off Survivor, so I combined all of their first challenges into 1 because I’m lazy. 

*Monke leads everyone to the edge of the table*

Monke: First you have to jump off this table, and land on this balance beam without dying. Then carry the baskets that magically teleport on top of you and run across the beam to the end where you light the basket on fire. You will each pick 1 representative to compete. Last to light the basket wins. If the representative dies the team picks another one. Ready, set, go!

Mattress: Let’s pick Medal, he’ll definitely win! *Medal is picked for The Best Team Ever*

Tissue Box: Let’s pick Sunny because he can fly

Umbrella: What about me? *jumps up and opens himself, floating to the ground* I can fly

Tissue Box: Fine *Umbrella is picked for Arhuyeiokjdehgryuwijdhfugyehjmkswieuhfncmxskdjfghtrueiw*

Puddle: Let’s pick Kitey she can fly *Kitey is picked for THERE IS NO TEAM*

Camera: I’m picking Cuppy, she can secretly fly *Cuppy is picked for The Humans*

Sushi: oooh pick m-

Golf Club: I’m going *Golf Club picks herself for Sus*

Rookie: Feather is the best for this challenge *Feather is picked for S.H.I.T.*

Pizza: Let’s spin Ringy! *Exists gather around Ringy as he spins. He stops spinning with his jewel pointing at Bow (weapon)

Bow (weapon): Heck yeah! *Bow (weapon) is picked for Exists*

Flaggy: (to her team) I’ll help all you guys out! I know I can do it! *Flaggy is picked for Uhhhhhhhhh*

*all the representatives jump off the table*

Cuppy: *screams, but then notices she’s closest to the beam* Ya- 

*Cuppy hits the beam and dies*

*Feather and Kitey float down first and baskets teleport on them. They fly away as Medal, Golf Club, Bow (weapon) and Flaggy land*

Tapey: (to Camera) now what

Camera: *throws Megaphone off the edgy* Fly, dragon, fly

Megaphone: *screams*

(meanwhile back down at the beam)

Medal: *runs across the beam* Whoa-ah- *falls off the beam and dies*

Mattress: What? But Medal wins everything

Monke: Oh yeah I removed his winning power lol

*Mattress yells at Monke while Locky jumps off the table*

Marble: Hey where’s Umbrella

Banjo: *points* there

*Umbrella is still near the top of the table, floating down slowy*

Umbrella: I’ll get there guys I promise

*Feather arrives at the end of the beam and sets the basket on fire, accidentally burning himself to death also*

Monke: Feather is dead but he gave S.H.I.T. the first immunity in this damn series!

*Kitey almost arrives to the end but a breeze blows her back to where the others are*

*Flaggy runs to the end and sets her basket on fire*

Monke: Uhhhhhhhhh is safe!

Golf Club: *is annoyed by Kitey flying in front of her* GET OUT OF HERE *punches a hole in Kitey that makes her fall to the ground*

Puddle: I’ll go next!

Peachy: Sure-aaah- *slips on Puddle and falls onto Umbrella, weighing him down and he falls faster*

*Golf Club arrives at the end and tries to light the basket on fire but the torch burnt out*

Golf Club: Oh c’mon! *starts trying to relight the fire*

Bow (weapon): *runs over to the end*

Golf Club: Aha! *throws Bow (weapon) into the fire, reignighting it*

*Golf Club burns her basket*

Monke: Sus is safe!

Pizza: Let’s spin Ringy again!

The Rest of Pizza’s Team: No *throws him off the table*

*Peachy and Umbrella both land on the beam and get baskets*

Peachy: *starts running*

Umbrella: Congrats on breaking me… object I should not swear at because swearing is bad *starts running*

*Megaphone lands on the balance beam*

Megaphone: C’mon that took like a minute how slow do megaphones fall seriously *starts running*

Peachy: *reaches the end and lights the basket on fire*

Monke: THERE IS NO TEAM is safe!

*Megaphone reaches up to Umbrella* 

Megaphone: HEY *screams so loud Umbrella dies*

Cactus: Sunny you go

Sunny: Thank you *flies down the table*

Pizza: *runs up to Megaphone* We’re almost there, how about we light it together?

Megaphone: Don’t make me scream you off I’m having a bad day today

*Megaphone runs up to the end and lights the basket*

Monke: The Humans is safe!

*Pizza runs up to the end and lights the basket*

Pizza: *grabs Megaphone and yells through her* I got it!

Monke: Exists is safe! It’s down to The Best Team Ever and Arhuyeiokjdehgryuwijdhfugyehjmkswieuhfncmxskdjfghtrueiw!

*Locky and Sunny are neck and neck and almost to the end because suspense*

*Suspenseful music plays*

Suspenseful Music: dundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundun

Sunny: Wait, I wonder if I

*Sunny puts the basket on himself, lighting it on fire*

Monke: Well I guess that counts so Arhuyeiokjdehgryuwijdhfugyehjmkswieuhfncmxskdjfghtrueiw is safe

Arhuyeiokjdehgryuwijdhfugyehjmkswieuhfncmxskdjfghtrueiw members: *celebrating*

Monke: And The Best Team Ever is up for elimination

Vote who you want to be eliminated in the comments with the letters below voting ends February 8th, 2021.

Water Bottle [a]  
Medal [b]  
Mushroom [c]  
Soapy [d]  
Wishbone [e]  
Mattress [f]  
Locky [g]  
Paintbrush [h]


	3. Housemania 2: No Godmodding or I Block and Report You

Wishbone: *kicks* Why did we lose? We have Medal on our team!

Mushroom: Monke said-

Paintbrush: I’m so angry I could just kill someone *kills Water Bottle*

Mushroom: Won’t anyone listen to me? Monke said that he removed Medals powers!

Medal: What if it’s not Monke, what if it’s me, what if I’m losing my charm?

Mattress: Oh noooo!

Mushroom: Monke- ugh. *pushes Monke on screen* Tell him that it’s all your fault his powers are gone you poophead.

Monke: Will Medal suffer if I say no

Mushroom: n-

Soapy: Pretty much

Monke: I didn’t remove anything lol

Medal: *flops on the ground and cries*

Monke: Anyways it’s elimination canonization!

Mushroom: What

Monke: I make eliminations canon. What else do you want? *points at nothing* Come, gather around the nothing.

*The Best Team Ever gathers around the nothing*

Monke: We had only 2 votes for this challenge, and all for the same person. So instead of a symbol of immunity, whoever gets this random piece of paper I found is eliminated!

Wishbone: A-

Monke: *throws piece of paper at Medal* and you’re eliminated.

Medal: Ow paper cuts!

Mattress: Aww bye Medal. Oh wait you’re completely useless now. Bye Medal lol.

Medal: Are you serious

*everyone agrees with Mattress*

Medal: ugh

Monke: Now since you’re eliminated, you’re going to be trapped in the dollhouse of shame for the rest of the competition *throws Medal in the dollhouse*

Medal: Wow pretty roomy

Monke: Not when more players get eliminated! 

Soapy: So now what

*everyone gathers around Monke*

Monke: Today you’re gonna create your own Housemania OCs!

Umbrella: We what

Siren: That sounds demonic

Monke: Shut up. Basically you will sketch out an object friend, and I’ll bring them to life. Then all your new friends will fight to death and you’ll never see them again. Last OC alive wins. *summons creation stations for each team* Now, to your creation stations.

*everyone goes to their creation stations*

*scene focuses on The Humans*

Cuppy: So what kind of object do we make our friend?

Camera: I believe that other teams are more clever than us, we need to find the ultimate weakness.

Telly: Ooh, I know! We could make a kryptonite! He could weaken everyone around him!

Camera: Perfect!

Traffic Lighty: *draws Kryptonitey*

*scene switches to Exists*

Pizza: Let’s make a car! He can run over everyone and stuff!

Everyone on Exists except Ringy and Packing Peanut: *agrees with Pizza*

Packing Peanut: No, I don’t want to kill anyone. What about a Bed? Now we can only put them to sleep instead of killing them!

Everyone on Exists except Ringy: *argue with each other*

Ringy: *walks over to the giant paper and starts shaking while making demonic noises*

*a drawing of Emoji Moviey magically appears on the paper*

Everyone on Exists except Ringy: *gasps*

*scene switches to Uhhhhhhhhh*

Mouse: According to my calculations, this character combines aspects of all our personalities and also is powerful *draws Nagito Komaeday on the paper*

Chocolate Bar: Cute!

*scene switches to Sus*

Crowny: What do we do?

Sushi: Leave it to me *draws Catboy Firey*

Key: I regret joining this team

*scene switches to S.H.I.T.*

Rookie: We need the big guns for this one. We need a gun.

Feather: Ok? *writes out the word gun, creating the word guny*

Rookie: *facepalms*

*scene changes to Arhuyeiokjdehgryuwijdhfugyehjmkswieuhfncmxskdjfghtrueiw*

Cactus: c’mon *demonic screeching* we need someone strong, mean, ruthless, and murderous

Mirror: So basically Shovel and Paintbrush’s lovechild

Shovel: I-

Sunny: Good Job! *draws Shovel and Paintbrush’s Lovechildy*

*scene changes to THERE IS NO TEAM*

Lipstick: We need the most powerful thing in the world!

Siren: We need Monke!

Puddle: Ok lol *draws Monkey*

*scene changes to The Best Team Ever*

Locky: Let’s combine pieces of ourselves

*everyone rips off a piece of themselves and combines them*

Monke: Everyone got their OCs? Ok *brings them to life puts them all in a boxing ring* fight!

*all the ocs start fighting except for Catboy Firey and Nagito Komaeday who just stare at each other*

Nagito Komaeday: Catboy Firey, *rips off his costume to reveal he was Catgirl Leafy the whole time*

Mouse: Wait what

Candle: Y tho

*Catboy Firey and Catgirl Leafy try to kiss, but Catboy Firey accidentally burns Catgirl Leafy to death*

Catboy Firey: Nooooooo! *cries as Monkey eats him*

*Kryptonitey tries to kill The Word Guny, but The Word Guny pulls out some Kryptonite Kryptonite killing Kryptonitey*

*Shovel and Paintbrush’s Lovechildy kills The Word Guny, but soon after The Emoji Moviey plays itself and it’s so back Shovel and Paintbrush’s Lovechildy dies*

*Monkey eats The Best Team Every*

Monke: It’s down to Exists and THERE IS NO TEAM

*Monkey tries to eat Emoji Moviey, but it plays the “Monkey Buisness” scene of the emoji movie on repeat, memserising Monkey*

*It has been 3 days and Monkey is still watching that scene on loop*

Paintbrush: I’m done with this *kills Monkey and Emoji Moviey*

Monke: Welp looks like no one won. I was gonna give automatic immunity next challenge to the team who won. Too bad.

Paintbrush: Wait didn’t I technically win

Mushroom: Not-

Monke: Oh yeah lol. The Best Team Ever wins but since it wasn’t an OC you guys are only getting a cookie *throws them a cookie*

The Best Team Ever: *fights over the cookie*

Since Uhhhhhhhhh’s character died first, that means they’re up for elimination!

Button: I knew we should’ve gone with Togami

Vote who you want to be eliminated in the comments with the letters below voting ends February 17th, 2021

[a] Button  
[b] Flaggy  
[c] Hatty   
[d] Shirty  
[e] Mouse  
[f] Sandpaper  
[g] Candle  
[h] Chocolate Bar


	4. Housemania 3: Tower of Heaven

Sandpaper: (to her team) Hey guys, let’s make a bet. Whoever correctly guesses which one of us is getting eliminated gets free stuff!

Shirty: Sandpaper you really need to stop your gambling-

Sandpaper: I think Mouse is getting eliminated, she did think of Nagito Komaeday in the first place!

Hatty: Yeah I agree

Mouse: I can’t be perfect all the time

Shirty: Yeah can we not-

Button: I also think Mouse should be eliminated, I can’t believe we all agreed to her idea. Next time I’m leading this team.

Flaggy: Yeah I wish Mouse let us have our say in making the OC

Everyone on Uhhhhhhhhh: *arguing*

Monke: Shut up it’s now time for elimination canonization. *spits on the ground* now gather round the spit!

*Uhhhhhhhhh gathers round the spit*

Monke: We had 3 votes this episode, 6 of you got 0 votes, 1 of you got 1 vote, and 1 of you got 2 votes and will be eliminated! If you are safe I’ll call your name and give you a tiny plushie of yourself. First up with 0 votes, Candle *throws tiny Candle plushie at Candle*

*the plushie flies through Candle’s flame, burning it*

Candle: (monotonously) Oh no

Monke: Flaggy, *throws tiny Flaggy plushie at Flaggy*

Flaggy: I’ll call her Jerry

Monke: Chocolate Bar, *throws tiny Chocolate Bar plushie at Chocolate Bar* Button, *throws tiny Button plushie at Button*

Button: *eats it*

Monke: Hatty, *throws tiny Hatty plushie at Hatty* and Shirty *throws tiny Shirty plushie at Shirty* Now it’s down to Mouse and Sandpaper.

*Mouse looks nervously at Sandpaper*

Sandpaper: Bye loser. I’m about to get this in the ba-

Monke: And Mouse is safe with only one vote. *throws tiny Mouse plushie at Mouse* Sandpaper is eliminated with 2 votes.

Sandpaper: What!? What do I lose?

Monke: The mansion, duh *throws Sandpaper into the Dollhouse of Shame* Now,

*Monke claps twice, teleporting every remaining contestant and himself into the giant bedroom*

*Monke then summons a tower*

Monke: This tower is made out of 8 hollow building blocks each designed after house rooms unstably stacked. I will place each team in 1 room. Since you’re gonna wobble a lot and stuff, whichever team stays the least calm during the time period until all the blocks fall off the bottom one, wins. In the bottom block, the living room, goes Uhhhhhhhhh. *teleports Uhhhhhhhhh into the living room block*

Button: Heck yeah easy win

Flaggy: I just hope the other teams will do ok

Monke: In the next block up, the kitchen, goes The Best Team Ever *teleports The Best Team Ever in the kitchen block*

Soapy: Hey look food *tries to eat the food painted on the wall*

Locky: *picks Soapy up* Stop it we’re gonna fall *drops Soapy and puts hands over mouth*

Monke: In the next block up, the sunroom, goes Exists *teleports Exists in the sunroom block*

Packing Peanut: *looks out the windows* nice

Mailbox: That’s just paint

Monke: In the next block up, the playroom, goes Arhuyeiokjdehgryuwijdhfugyehjmkswieuhfncmxskdjfghtrueiw *teleports Arhuyeiokjdehgryuwijdhfugyehjmkswieuhfncmxskdjfghtrueiw in the playroom block*

Tissue Box: *sniffs* This place is highly contaminated *starts cleaning the floor with her own tissues*

Monke: In the next block up, the dining room, goes S.H.I.T. *teleports S.H.I.T. to the dining room block*

Wrench: This is the ugliest place I’ve ever seen 

Monke: In the next block up, the bedroom, goes THERE IS NO TEAM *teleports THERE IS NO TEAM to the bedroom block*

Kitey: *to Moony who is laying on her* Hey get off me-

Moony: Can you fix my broken soul

Kitey: No?

Moony: Now you know how I feel

Monke: In the next block up, the library, goes The Humans *teleports the Humans in the library block*

Cuppy: This place is bigger than I expected

Tapey: We can barely move

Monke: In the top and smallest block, the bathroom, goes to Sus *teleports Sus into the bathroom block*

*Sus is cramped together in the tiny block, and thus, they all start arguing*

Folder: *repeats the phrase: “we can’t move”*

Monke: aaaand start!

*the tower starts to wobble*

Everyone on the higher blocks: *screaming*

Sushi: c’mon Sus! We need to do the ultimate pose for balance!

Folder: We can’t move

Camera: Everyone, follow after me. OLOLOOOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLO

The Humans: OLOLOOOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLO

*the tower stops wobbling and Camera be lookin smug*

Traffic Lighty (Red): That  
Traffic Lighty (Yellow): Was  
Traffic Lighty (Green): Creepy

*scene focuses on The Best Team Ever*

Mattress: *to the room below* Hatty, can you hear me!?

Hatty: *to the room above* Loud and clear, Mattress!

Mattress: I wish there was a way to meet each other

Hatty: I know *grabs Candle and uses her flame to burn a hole in the ceiling and The Best Team Ever’s floor* 

Mattress: Party time! *jumps down and she and Hatty hug*

*everyone on The Best Team Ever jump down to join Uhhhhhhhhh except for Mushroom*

Mushroom: Something doesn’t feel right about this, I’m staying up here

*Water Bottle pulls Mushroom down anyway*

*everyone in the living room except for a select few start dancing*

*scene focuses on Arhuyeiokjdehgryuwijdhfugyehjmkswieuhfncmxskdjfghtrueiw*

Sunny: *bumps into Shovel*

Shovel: Get out of the way loser *pushes Sunny into the wall*

*Sunny starts burning the wall he touched*

Sunny: *screaming*

The rest of Arhuyeiokjdehgryuwijdhfugyehjmkswieuhfncmxskdjfghtrueiw: *freaking out*

*Sunny comes through the other side of the wall, leaving a whole in the room*

Shovel: Heck yeah an escape!

Umbrella: Isn’t that unfair?

Sunny: *gasps* but being unfair is, mean!

Cactus: You’re right… Because I haven’t said it was okay to. It’s okay to escape. Okay now I said it.

*Everyone on Arhuyeiokjdehgryuwijdhfugyehjmkswieuhfncmxskdjfghtrueiw except Umbrella jump through the whole and sneak past Monke*

Umbrella: hmph

*The whole causes and imbalance and the top 4 floors start to wobble*

Protractor: WE’RE GONNA DIE

Bamboo: No we’re not!

*the top block, Sus’s, falls off the tower, killing everyone on the team*

Bamboo: We’re gonna die

S.H.I.T.: *screaming*

Flashlight: Wait! I have an idea! *opens a dark spellbook*

Rookie: We have to burn our way out! *turns Flashlight on and starts pointing it at the wall*

S.H.I.T.: *waits*

Bow (accessory): This is gonna take a while isn’t it

*scene focuses on Exists* 

Everyone on Exists: *meditating* 

Packing Peanut: Yeah just like that, ommmmmmm

Envelope: Wait this is boring. Imma do a stunt *runs into the wall causing every floor above and including them to wobble*

Packing Peanut: Now look what you did!

Pizza: *pleading* Ringy, do something!

Ringy: *starts shaking and making demonic noises, and the tower suddenly stops wobbling*

Exists: *stock cheering noises*

*Suddenly a giant demon hand punches The Human’s floor off the tower*

Mailbox: *hears the sound of The Humans’ screaming* ...What was that?

*camera zooms in on Ringy as creepy ambience intensifies and Ringy’s smile grows*

*scene focuses on THERE IS NO TEAM’s floor*

Puddle: Umm guys, is this floor waterproof?

Siren: I don’t think so. *stares closely* Or is it?

Puddle: I think not, because I’m seeping through it

*THERE IS NO TEAM’s floor starts to wobble*

Siren: Guys, I think Puddle is making the connection between us and the floor below slippery

Lipstick: Oh no we are not gonna die *gets out a straw and starts drinking Puddle*

Puddle: *screaming*

*everyone else on the team joins in drinking Puddle*

*scene focuses on S.H.I.T., where they just finished burning the whole through the wall*

Rookie: Everyone jump through fast, the room’s gonna collapse

*Everyone on S.H.I.T. jumps through*

*scene cuts to THERE IS NO TEAM, who has just finished drinking Puddle as the tower stops wobbling*

Peachy: I think we handled that well

*S.H.I.T.’s room collapses, causing THERE IS NO TEAM’s room to fall off*

THERE IS NO TEAM: *screaming*

*scene cuts to S.H.I.T. on the bedroom floor*

Wrench: I think we handled that well

*THERE IS NO TEAM’s room falls on S.H.I.T., crushing them*

*scene changes to the living room party, where everyone is having fun except for Mushroom who is regretting his life choices in the corner*

Wishbone: *grabs a button off the floor* Ooh, what does this do?

Mouse: Don’t touch that!

Wishbone: Sure thing! *presses the button*

*scene cuts to Exists*

Mailbox: I don’t feel so good, *all of the revived contestants shoot out of Mailbox, causing Exists’ room to fall down*

Wishbone: *hears the screaming* Nice!

*Monke suddenly teleports into the living room*

Monke: You two are the last teams to have their rooms on the tower, if Uhhhhhhhhh knocks the above floor off the tower, they win a special prize! *teleports out*

Button: Special prize? *starts jumping to try to knock the above floor off*

*members of Uhhhhhhhhh start jumping also*

Mattress: (to Hatty, who is jumping) Hatty? Don’t go against me like this!

Hatty: I’m sorry Mattress, it’s for my team!

Mattress: (angry) If that’s so important to you, then this is for my team! *starts attacking Hatty*

Paintbrush: A killing fest? I’m in 

Chocolate Bar: (crushing on Locky) I love the silent types.. *Paintbrush kills her before she can kiss him*

Locky: *motions a sigh of relief*

Flaggy: Can’t we all just get along?

Shirty: I don’t think all this killing is necessary-

Button: (angrily to Shirty and Flaggy) What kind of teammates are you! *kills them both*

Monke: *sitting relaxing while chaos goes on in the background*

*Monke’s alarm clock rings*

Monke: welp *teleports every contestant into one place* Uhhhhhhhhh failed to knock off the kitchen in time meaning they will not get a special prize.

Everyone on Uhhhhhhhhh except for Button: *restrain Button from attacking Monke*

Button: growlbitegrowlgrowlbarkbarkbitegrowlbarkgrowl

Monke: Judging on the panic meter I would’ve given The Best Team Ever an elimination, but I decided to twist the rules and make the team that was the least panicky an elimination. And that prize goes to The Humans who just went OLOLOOOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLO and be smug.

Vote who you want to be eliminated in the comments with the letters below voting ends March 4th, 2021.

[a] Spooly  
[b] Camera  
[c] Megaphone  
[d] Cuppy  
[e] Traffic Lighty  
[f] Telly  
[g] Tapey  
[h] Sock

**Author's Note:**

> there's voting the next episode I swear


End file.
